Print prayer

HP Envy 6400 is my nemesis.
It shall not print.

It maketh me to flush with annoyance
And leadeth me into the temptation of anger.
It restoreth my faith in handwriting
and leadeth me down the paths of patience
for my sanity’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the ombre of the running-out ink
I fear no smudges, for thou—HP Envy—art with me.
Thy empty paper tray, thy crappy casing, they comfort me.
For they shall make a satisfying crash, when dropped

from  a height.

Surely cheap but nasty printers shall follow me, all the days of my life
and I shall dwell in the aisles of Officeworks, forever.