By Catherin J Pascal Dunk, quoting Elly Belfort-Mattos
I love myself and think I’m grand,
Unknown origin
I love to sit and hold my hand.
I know I’m grand.
I sit, I hold my hand.
To blow myself a kiss
is just about bliss.
I say “I love you” to me
morn and night—
it feels so right.
I kiss my arm—
it does no harm.
🩷
But you—you take things a bit far.
You’re your own shooting star.
It seems you’d like an Army of Ellies,
an Ellyarmy, doing your bidding.
Clones
throughout your zone.
Yessers
who’ll get suitably outraged
suitably promptly.
Pure activist rebels who never
fall for liberal rhetoric,
who’d punch
that Nazi—
no hesitation.
“You want an Elly Army.”
“definitely not.
i’m learning so much still”1
“And yet you still think you can tell me
exactly how to act and what to say?”
“not at all!”
“you’re right to feel controlled—
but I’m not the one
controlling you”
“your liberal conditioning is”
“i abhor control.
i abhor those who dictate how other
people should live their lives”
“i wouldn’t do that to anyone—
except by giving the example”
“And removing affection
if people don’t
meet your requirements?”
“distancing myself from
those who don’t
show a commitment
towards liberation”
“You strongly believe
that your exact way
is the only way…”
“You don’t appreciate how far
I already came with you—
and you’re ready to squander
our relationship.”
“liberation demands self-sacrifice”
[mic drop]
- The italicised parts of this poem are direct copies of messages from by my interlocutor, Elly. Post’s cover image is from Pexels Free Photos. ↩︎
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is it about self-love, though? i hope you realise the last statement also means it hurts me to distance myself from you and that’s because i love you a love that does not bind, but liberates
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it’s about self-love for me, in the sense of me recognising the need for de-escalation (for emotional safety), and me coming to be more self-sufficient in terms of meeting more of my own needs for affection
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