Sinéading

A cento¹ homage to Shuhada’ Sadaqat (previously Sinéad O’Connor), Irish singer-songwriter activist, 1966–2023. Words in italics are quoted lyrics, mainly from her 1990 album ‘I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got’.

I do not want what I haven’t got²
nor what I have³

I am stretched on your grave
and will lie there forever
luxuriating!⁴

Nothing compares 2 u⁵
thankfully!⁶

There’s been days like this before⁷
It’s all been a gorgeous mistake⁸

All in all is all we all are.⁹

My apple tree, my brightness
it’s time we were together
for I smell of the earth
and am worn by the weather¹⁰

and of course
I’m like a wild horse
but there’s no other way I could be;¹¹

the face on you!
the smell of you
will always be with me¹²

Whatever it may bring
I will live by my own policies
I will sleep with a clear conscience¹³

These are dangerous days:
to say you what you feel
is to dig your own grave¹⁴

I am not like I was before¹⁵
and that’s a good thing!¹⁶

I have not seen freedom before—¹⁷
don’t let me forget, now I’m here¹⁸

“Girl you better try to have fun, no matter what you do”
[don’t be] a fool—¹⁹
it’s too late for that

All in all is all we all are²⁰

Remember what I told you!²¹

Photo is a self-portrait by Catherin J Pascal Dunk taken in 2024.

1. A cento is ‘a poetic form composed … of lines from poems by other poets’, https://poets.org/glossary/cento. All of the italic lines in this poem are quoted from song titles or song lyrics, mainly from the 1990 album ‘I do not want what I haven’t got’. Cover photo is a self portrait by and of Catherin J Pascal Dunk, 2024. ↩︎
2. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, I do not want what I haven’t got. ↩︎
3. I had an infestation of scabies mites when putting together this work. This led me to shave my head! Looking a bit like the artist previously known as Sinéad O’Connor led to me revisiting her songs : ) ↩︎
4. This is me being glad once the scabies mites were treated successfully and dead. I respect Shuhada’ (the artist previously known as Sinéad) with my whole being. ↩︎
5. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Nothing compares 2 u. ↩︎
6. As an autistic person with acute sensory sensitivity to touch, the scabies mite experience was heinous. Worst thing ever. Not sleeping well for 2+ months sent me manic af/adhd too. ↩︎
7. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Jump in the river (co-writer Marco Pirroni). ↩︎
8. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Jump in the river (co-writer Marco Pirroni). ↩︎
9. From Nirvana 1993, All apologies (covered by Sinéad O’Connor 1994). ↩︎
10. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, I am stretched on your grave. ↩︎
11. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, My three babies. ↩︎
12. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, My three babies. ↩︎
13. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, The emperor’s new clothes. ↩︎
14. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Black boys on mopeds. ↩︎
15. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Feel so different. ↩︎
16. The experience of scabies mites led me to understand the world and the human condition in some new ways. I’m grateful for this learning. For example, I was treated differently, shunned, avoided. I also think I got to feel a bit more what it’s like living in poverty, which is what the majority of the world’s population has to do, and in the future I believe our living standards will all need to be equalised, so this is excellent practice — and in the meantime it has greatly increased my ability to feel compassion for (all) others … including plants and animals! ↩︎
17. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Feel so different. ↩︎
18. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Feel so different. ↩︎
19. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Nothing compares 2 u (lyrics by Prince? Donald Fagen & Timothy Meher/Freejunket music; previously performed by Prince/AFKAP and The Family). ↩︎
20. From Nirvana 1993, All apologies (covered by Sinéad O’Connor 1994). ↩︎
21. From Sinéad O’Connor 1990, Black boys on mopeds. ↩︎